What Is the Dissolution of Marriage and Why Does It Matter?

When a marriage or civil union comes to an end, many people ask: What happens next? The legal term for ending a formal relationship like a marriage or civil union is called dissolution of marriage, which is the legal process to dissolve such unions. But what does that mean, and how does it affect your life?

This article will walk you through everything you need to know about dissolving a marriage or civil union in simple terms. Whether you’re going through a breakup or just want to understand the process better, this guide will help you make sense of the law, the documents involved, and how courts handle these matters.

Can You End a Marriage or Civil Union Anytime You Want?

The short answer is no. There are specific rules and processes set by law that must be followed. In most places, including countries like New Zealand, you cannot just “break up” a marriage or civil union without going through a formal legal process.

The intention behind these legal requirements is to ensure that the process is fair and considers the well-being of all parties involved, especially in cases of family violence.

Here’s what you should know:

• A dissolution of marriage can only be granted after certain conditions are met.

• A separation order may be required by the Family Court to ensure that the couple lives apart before a dissolution can be granted.

• Both parties (you and your ex-partner) must meet legal requirements before applying to the court.

• If you’re not sure whether you qualify, it’s best to contact a legal expert or look into resources provided by the family court.

If you were in a civil union, the process is very similar to divorce, but may have slight differences depending on where you live. Always check the laws of your country to ensure you follow the correct steps.

What Do You Need to Start the Dissolution Process?

Before heading to the court, you’ll need to prepare several legal documents. These forms help the judge understand your situation and decide whether to grant the dissolution.

Here's what you might need:

• A completed joint application form if both parties agree

• Proof of separation (how long you've been living apart)

• Evidence showing you’ve lived in the country for at least two years (if you were born overseas )

• An affidavit stating your intentions and reasons for ending the relationship

Keep in mind that the exact forms and information required may vary depending on your state or country. For example, in New Zealand, the Family Court handles all family proceedings, including dissolution cases.

How Long Do You Have to Wait Before Applying for Dissolution?

One of the most common questions people ask is: How long do I have to wait before I can apply for a dissolution of marriage?

In many jurisdictions, including New Zealand, you must have been separated from your spouse for at least two years before you can file for dissolution. This is considered a cooling-off period to give couples time to reflect and possibly reconcile.

Family violence legislation recognizes the psychological and emotional force exerted by abusers, which can prolong victims' suffering and hinder their ability to seek a divorce.

However, there are exceptions:

• If your relationship ended due to family violence, some courts may allow you to apply earlier.

• In rare cases, if one person is unable to continue the marriage due to serious health issues, the court may also consider early applications.

During the separation period, it is important to establish regular, day-to-day care arrangements for any children involved.

It’s important to note that being separated doesn’t always mean living in different houses. You can still be separated while living under the same roof, as long as the relationship has truly ended and you’re no longer acting as a couple.

Do Both People Have to Agree to the Dissolution?

Ideally, yes. When both parties agree, the process is much smoother. This is known as a joint application. However, sometimes one person wants out while the other hopes to reconcile.

If your spouse refuses to cooperate, you can still go ahead with a sole application. But the process becomes more complicated. The court will require additional evidence that the relationship has permanently broken down.

Some things the court might consider include:

• Whether attempts were made to reconcile

• How long has the separation lasted

• Whether the person opposing the dissolution is trying to delay the process unfairly

If the court is satisfied that the marriage or civil union has ended beyond repair, it will usually grant the dissolution.

What Happens to Children After the Dissolution?

When children are involved, the court focuses on their best interests. The dissolution itself doesn’t cover custody or visitation rights — those are handled separately in family court.

The subject of family violence can significantly influence custody arrangements, as the court aims to protect the best interests of the children. The court also considers the emotional and psychological force exerted by an abusive parent when making custody decisions.

You may need to make arrangements for:

• Where the children will live (permanent home)

• How often does each parent get contact

• Who will provide support?

• Decisions about education, healthcare, and religion

These aspects are part of custody and care arrangements, and they must be clearly outlined in legal documents or agreed upon between the parties.

Even if you’re not married anymore, both parents still have responsibilities toward their children.

What About Property and Financial Matters?

Another major concern during a dissolution of marriage is what happens to shared property. This includes homes, vehicles, savings, and even debts.

In many places, including New Zealand, there’s something called relationship property. This refers to assets acquired during the relationship that are typically split evenly when the marriage ends.

Important points to remember:

• Property owned before the relationship usually remains with the original owner

• Gifts or inheritances received during the marriage may not be shared

• Debts incurred together are often divided equally

If you and your ex can’t agree on how to divide property, the court can step in and make a decision based on the circumstances.

How Do You File for Dissolution?

Filing for dissolution involves several steps. Here’s a general breakdown:

1. Prepare the Application: Fill out the required forms accurately.

2. Submit to the Court: Take the forms to your local family court or submit them online if available.

3. Serve Your Spouse: The other party must be legally notified. This is called being served.

4. Wait for Approval: Once everything is submitted, you may need to wait for the court to review your case.

5. Attend a Hearing (if needed): Some cases require a court appearance, especially if there’s disagreement.

Make sure all documents are signed and notarized if necessary. Mistakes in paperwork can delay the process significantly.

What If Your Spouse Won’t Sign the Papers?

Sometimes, one person doesn’t want the marriage to end. They may refuse to sign or respond to the divorce papers.

In such cases, you can still proceed by filing a sole application. You’ll need to show the court that:

• You’ve made reasonable efforts to contact your spouse

• They were properly served with the documents

• They’ve had enough time to respond, but chose not to

The court will then decide whether to move forward without their cooperation.

Is Dissolution Different From Divorce?

This is a common question. While the terms are often used interchangeably, there can be subtle differences.

• Divorce typically refers to the end of a religious or traditional marriage.

• Dissolution is the legal term used for ending a civil union or registered partnership.

• In practice, however, the process and outcomes are often very similar.

In countries like New Zealand, both types of unions are treated equally under the law, so the ground for ending them is the same: the relationship has broken down irretrievably.

What If One Person Lives Overseas?

If your former partner now lives in another country , things can get more complex. You may still be able to file for dissolution, but international laws and procedures will come into play.

Key considerations:

• You must prove that at least one person is domiciled in the country where you’re filing

• The other party must still be legally served

• International agreements may influence how documents are handled

If you're unsure how to proceed, seek legal assistance from someone familiar with cross-border family law.

What Role Does the Court Play in Dissolution?

The court plays a key role in making sure the dissolution is fair and lawful. It reviews all the evidence, checks that the required period of separation has passed, and confirms that both parties understand what they’re agreeing to.

If any matters arise—like disputes over property or child custody—the court can make decisions based on what’s best for everyone involved.

In some cases, the court may also refer couples to counseling or mediation to try and resolve issues before finalizing the dissolution.

Can You Reconcile After Filing for Dissolution?

Yes, you can. Sometimes, couples realize they want to work things out after starting the process. If both parties intend to reconcile, they can withdraw the application.

However, once the dissolution is officially granted, the marriage or civil union is legally over. At that point, getting back together would require a new legal union.

So, if you're thinking of reconciling, act quickly before the court makes its final decision.

Where Can You Get Help With the Dissolution Process?

Going through a dissolution of marriage can be emotionally and legally challenging. Fortunately, there are many resources available to help:

• Legal aid: Available in many countries for those who qualify financially

• Community law centers: Offer free or low-cost advice

• Online tools: Many governments provide downloadable forms and guides

• Support groups: Emotional support can be invaluable during this time

Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Even small mistakes in preparation can lead to big delays.

Final Thoughts: Making the Process Easier

Ending a marriage or civil union is never easy. But understanding the law , knowing what to expect, and preparing properly can make the process less stressful.

Here are a few final tips:

• Be honest and clear in all your documents

• Keep communication respectful, especially if children are involved

• Follow court instructions carefully

• Seek professional help when needed

Remember, the goal is to bring closure to a broken relationship and pave the way for a healthier future — for both you and your partner , and any children involved.

Works Cited

• Ministry of Justice, New Zealand. Family Court – Ending a Relationship. www.justice.govt.nz, 2023.

• Family Court New Zealand. Applying for a Dissolution Order. www.familycourt.govt.nz, 2023.

• Community Law. Relationship Breakdown and Separation. www.communitylaw.org.nz, 2023.

• New Zealand Parliament. Relationships (Statutes and Documents) Act 2021. www.parliament.nz, 2021.

• Legal Aid Services. Eligibility and Application Process. www.legalaidservices.govt.nz, 2023.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

What is a dissolution of marriage?

A dissolution of marriage is the legal process used to formally end a marriage or civil union. It confirms that the relationship has permanently broken down and allows both parties to go their separate ways legally.

How long do I have to be separated before applying for dissolution?

In most cases, you must have been living separately for at least two years before you can apply for a dissolution. This gives both parties time to consider their decision and possibly reconcile.

Do both people need to agree to the dissolution?

If both parties agree, they can complete a joint application, which makes the process smoother. However, if one person does not agree, the other can still apply on their own, as long as they meet certain legal requirements and provide enough evidence to the court.

Can I apply for dissolution if my spouse lives in another country?

Yes, you may still be able to apply, but there are additional steps. At least one person must be domiciled in the country where the application is being made. The other party also needs to be properly notified, even if they live overseas.

What happens to children after the dissolution is granted?

The dissolution itself doesn’t decide custody or visitation rights. These issues are handled separately with a focus on the best interests of the child. Parents should make clear arrangements about where the children will live, how much time they’ll spend with each parent, and who will provide financial support.